Potter's brats

I'm going to post what happened in a time line. There IS no other way. Cameron had to go back home for a couple of days and the brat had a test he couldn't miss in school. That's how it started.


12:01am - Brat had been grounded the previous few days, thus unable to get out and get the Harry Potter book he so desperately wanted. Left the house.

12:20am - Brat returned with book, snacks and a cold twelve pack of Mountain Dew. This was going to get ugly.

12:22am - Page 1. Brat back in skimpy shorts, no shirt, curled up in the lounge chair. Snacks arranged around him, first Dew ready to go. Dew down: 1. (extra bottle purchased as he scoured the store)

1:20am - Page 60. Sounds of satifaction from brat as he reads. Gets through the first can of Dew. Can on floor, brat gets another one from fridge. Brat on floor. Dews down: 2.

2:05am - Page 100. Lines in forehead signaling the very beginnings of a reading headache, not to mention overdose of caffeine at a time when he's normally sleeping. Brat on couch. Dews down: 2.

2:45am - Page 170. Brat's muttering about pattern of the Defense Against The Dark Arts teacher is thrown off. Evil, Useless, Good, Evil, Useless, Good. Clue? Crackling of potato chip bag wakes me. Brat on Floor. Dews down: 3.

3:15am - Page 230. Brat upside down in lounge chair, chair at precarious angle. Cookie trail from floor to chair. Sure he's trying to settle head which must be pounding at this point. He's obviously been smacking the ceiling at various times from the caffeine while I've been asleep. Dews down: 4.

4:00am - Page 289. Brat muttering "about damn time." Goes for the cheetos, careful to leave only a hint of grease on the book while the orange finger prints get wiped on the paper towel if it's in reach, shorts if it's not. Dews down: 5. Amazingly staying down.

4:30am - Page 350. Brat muttering about George Bush being the new Minister of Magic. WAY too much caffeine. Book down for three Tylenol tablets, line in forehead far more pronounced. More snacks. NOTE. No food in MY bowl. Dews down: 6.

5:15am - Page 420. Harry and He Who Must Not Be named - parallels. Are they products of their choices or are they just different inside?

6:00am - Page 485. Is this where Saddam Hussein was hiding? Nice tactical reading. Dews down: 7.

6:15am - Page 505. Alarm upstairs goes off. Brat on couch still reading. Must be one hell of a book.

6:35am - Page 570. NOTE. No food in MY bowl. Breakfast is freaking LATE. Brat finds pizza box on floor from dinner, opens and eats the last few pieces without watching. Amazing feat, the book is still mostly spotless. Brat not. Neither is carpet as I was forced to snatch a few pepperoni to snack on while he's reading. Dews down: 8.

7:15am - Page 605. Brat moving postions about every five minutes. Is it caffeine or is the book getting better? Radio alarm silent.

7:30am - Page 630. Brat bursts out with "Damn!" I glower. Dews down: 8.5.

7:38am - Page 640. Brat bursts out with "No WAY!" Time to drag out the BIG paw, THE CAT is hungry and could care less about HARRY Potter. When L.M. Mewlings writes about HAIRY Catter I'll read.

8:05am - Last page. Long break to empty bladder for the rest of Dew number 9 before getting to this point. Brat with a look of wonderment on his face, "Wow." Eyes go wide when I drop his watch in his lap. I stand back as language that would make a sailor blush erupts, along with brat from the chair. He's gone ten minutes later. When blue air clears enough to see about an hour later, BOWL STILL EMPTY. Stare disdainfully at the dry food and head upstairs. Downstairs looks like a bomb hit it and I wonder who's going to make it home first...........